Interviews

VOYAGE DALLAS

Today we’d like to introduce you to Valerie Vibar.

Valerie, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.Okay, so, I’m originally from Dallas. In 2012, because my parents were divorcing and so much was happening in the family, my father sent me back to the Philippines, my family’s home country, where I became a depressed alcoholic.

In 2017, I started having dreams where I kept hearing a voice telling me to go back to the US and do comedy. And, without questioning my sanity, I did that. I went back to the US in May 2018 and lived with my sister in LA. Two months later, she left me. Alone and with no one and no money, I worked three jobs. On top of that, I was doing comedy at night.

I was discovered by a professional comic, Richard Weiss, on my first open mic, and he brought me around the comedy scene in LA. I booked my first gig after one month of doing comedy, and it was because of his help. Since then, I’ve been booking gigs consistently. I started producing my own comedy/music show after 5 months in the comedy scene.

MPOWER Project - Now I am

I was feeling lost. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I was confused by the conflicting things I was being told. If I’m fighting for something, it’s wrong. If I’m not fighting for anything, it’s still wrong. If I’m too confident, it’s bad. But when I’m quiet and withdrawn, I’m “too quiet.” Too strong, too weak, too quiet, too loud... There wasn’t anything that was right for them. I wasn’t encouraged to talk about my emotions, which led to me not having much family support. I was left on my own to try to work my way through this confusion.

The specific event that made me decide that I needed to leave the country happened in Hong Kong. I was there visiting a college friend, and she knew my personality well. On the second night I was there, she sat me down and said, “Valerie, you’ve changed a lot. You’ve lost your confidence. There’s obviously something wrong. What happened?” I remember breaking down and crying, and she assured me that I hadn’t done anything wrong, that there was nothing wrong with the real me. She said, “Yes, you are talkative, you are lively, but you are an entertainer. That’s what attracts people to you.”

I decided right there that I wasn’t going to care anymore what people thought of me. I was going to move back to the US. So when I went back home, I had this attitude of, “I don’t care what you think anymore.” I made my decision. The next 10 months I spent saving and planning were a struggle, but the thought of going back to America kept me sane.

TAP INTERVIEWS WITH MATT J. DOYLE

“What’s your message for everyone, Val?”

I used to be all about change especially when it came to my culture and society, it was all about making Filipinos see the beauty in themselves. But right at this very moment and after everything… I guess I just want people to be happy and feel grateful. I live in Hollywood, not just physically but… Hollywood is my life now. And with the coronavirus happening, and with how Hollywood can be, honest to God, I don’t see people happy. Yes, it’s a hard time we’re in. I’m not looking down or downgrading anyone’s struggles. This message isn’t for those who are going through unemployment but rather for those who are employed, who have good lives, who are still working on their craft and still can’t be happy. People keep wanting more and more and more. Nothing is enough. When I first started doing comedy and was getting attention pretty early on, people who were more accomplished than me were too competitive that it was hard for me to make friends. Like, dude, you have more than me. Why are you hating on me? And I guess that’s why this virus hit - again, I’m not downgrading anyone’s suffering because we do live in a horrible time - but the world is teaching us to open our eyes. We can’t keep wanting more and more and more. We’re not grateful for what we have.